I woke up the other morning, fixed myself a bucket of coffee, just another Wednesday in the life, until I found this brilliant unprompted missive from the Captain in my inbox. Here it is for your enjoyment (edit – with video added):
I was watching the EPL review show this weekend (had a wedding and missed all the games), and I witnessed something that just made me feel, well, strange. I was enveloped by an overwhelming lack of familiarity and it was quite disconcerting. I’m going through a lot right now: no real home, living in Mass and NYC, soon no job, school; it could be any number of things causing me some kind of misplaced anxiety, manifesting itself during what should be a moment of relaxation. I’m watching sports and I’m half in the bag; this is normally butter! What is it? As I place my half-full Bud Heavy to my lips, it hits me: I FEEL LIKE AN AMERICAN. I feel like someone watching a sport primarily viewed by people residing in countries many, many more centuries older than mine (I say “many, many” ’cause I don’t really know how many). Not only are Europeans more experienced in class and etiquette, but also in anger and violence. These people can have a senseless riot where reason and human rights go right out the window, but then apologize and JUSTIFY it all in the same breath. Impressive stuff.
Anyhow, the moment in question where the weight of my culture came bearing down on me was (and I’m sure you saw this), when Adebayor scored for Man City against Arsenal. Adebayor, after banging home a solid header past Almunia, sprinted the length of the pitch and did about a twenty foot victory slide ending triumphantly in front of the away fans from London. Well, bedlam doesn’t quite describe how the Gunner fans reacted. Let’s use an American term: Batshit fucking nuts! Not only did the try to kill Adebayor, or any reachable Man City fan on the other side of the away fans’ barrier, they tried to kill each other. The report is several Arsenal fans sustained minor bumps and bruises along with a security guard knocked unconscious. Adebayor only suffered a bit of Carling to his dome. He’ll be just fine. Physically. Though, from what I’m reading, he’s facing quite an occupational hazard: a hefty fine and possible suspension!