Fantasy Football: Meet the Coach

Exclusive to The Moral Victory.

Coach Ferrari poured himself a 3rd glass of Grants. Outside of his predilection for moderately priced scotch and hasty waiver gambles, I knew little of the man when my editor gave me the assignment of profiling him for the season.

smooth going up

The interview up to this point had been cordial, friendly even. However, when I started to question his draft strategy his demeanor turned cold and he topped off his glass.

“Mike Turner was the guy I wanted from the start. We got lucky with the draft order and got our man. He’s got durability and class, and we think he’s the best back in the world.”

“Some have criticized the risk you took in the 2nd round selecting Kurt Warner to lead the offense, then compounding that risk by taking Anquan Boldin in the 3rd. Does the fate of your team rest on Warner’s gossamer-strength shoulders?”

“Yes, I suppose. But I’ve wasted too many years with guys like Hasselbeck and Cutler dragging mediocrity onto the field in my name. The way we saw it, Warner was the last top tier guy left, so we took the chance.”

“Your depth is being questioned with rookies Knowshon Moreno, Donald Brown, and Hakeem Nicks all in line for meaningful minutes. Does this worry you?”

“We like what Don Brown brings. We think he could be the Matt Forte of 2009. I’ve got mixed feelings on Moreno but we’ve already got other coaches trying to trade for him. Nicks will have to show us something right away, but he’s had a nice little preseason. If we can make a move for a veteran wide-out, we probably will.”

“The North division is being called the toughest in the conference. Where do you think you’ll finish?”

“Coach Fisher is always competitive, he just gets it done. Coach RJ had himself a nice draft and he’s gonna win a lot of games. Coach Looney, on the other hand, well, we heard he fell asleep during the draft. Overconfidence, or just too much vodka on a hot Tempe night? I heard he’s been mixing it up with Andy Reid’s kids. That’s bad news. Tough division, but we like to think we’ll be in the mix.”

posted by Peter


One response to “Fantasy Football: Meet the Coach

  1. The real question is, who will win the starting job once Kurt Warner goes down? Kyle Orton or Brady Quinn? Yikes!

    I think this division is up for grabs, although preseason I like team Looney.

    Is this division destined for a wild card spot, or will they knock each other out of contention?

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